We all want to be happy. The right to look for happiness is even
guaranteed in the United States Declaration of Independence, and in the
constitutions of some other countries.
Unfortunately, no one has exactly spelled out the steps we must follow if we want to be happy.
The problem for many of us is that even when we find happiness, it always is temporary. No matter how happy we feel for a while, the sensation of happiness eventually goes away, and sometimes we don't know what to do to get it back.
Many of us are very busy trying to do the things that we think will make us happy, and buying the things that we think will make us happy. We have learned to think about happiness as something we will achieve in the future, instead of something we can actually have right now.
The problem is that if we think that happiness is something we might have in the future, those future moments of happiness may never come.
How many of us say "I'll be happy when I lose twenty pounds" Or "I'll be happy when I get a new car" Or "When I have kids I'll be happy". Or "Winning the lottery will make me happy."
Sure, we may feel very happy if we accomplish these goals. But if you think achieving a particular goal or buying a particular car will make you feel happy forever, you'll quickly find out that any lift is very temporary.
If you've had a big improvement in your life, such as winning a lottery, marrying the person of your dreams, or having wonderful children, after a while you get used to the change in your life. For a few years the change may make you feel very happy, but in a couple of years you'll get used to your new situation, and you're left back where you started in terms of how happy you are.
Happiness is very elusive. Even when we have it we can't hold on to it.
And happiness isn't a goal you can actually set out to achieve. You can feel happy as a byproduct of other positive things you are doing in your life.
And you can be living your life in such a way that you are always driving away whatever chance of happiness you might have.
So, if you want to be happy, accept the fact that it's not a permanent thing.
And realize that happiness is not something that you should put off for the future. Don't tell yourself that you have to wait until you do something or have something before you allow yourself to be happy.
If you think you have to tie your happiness to some future accomplishment or some future purchase, you will find that any happiness you look forward to may not happen. Once you have the thing you thought you really wanted, you may find out that you feel disappointed instead of happy.
Or the happiness may wear off very quickly, and then you go off chasing something else that you think you need to make you happy.
Instead of postponing your right to happiness to some obscure time in the future, live in the here and now, and look for opportunities to be happy right now, where you are.
Instead of looking for happiness in external objects, learn to develop your capacity for being happy just by existing in this world.
There can be happiness in a lot of little moments you have every day.
Get in the habit of looking for those moments Remind yourself often how many gifts you have been given. Get in the habit of staying in a state of appreciation.
Unfortunately, no one has exactly spelled out the steps we must follow if we want to be happy.
The problem for many of us is that even when we find happiness, it always is temporary. No matter how happy we feel for a while, the sensation of happiness eventually goes away, and sometimes we don't know what to do to get it back.
Many of us are very busy trying to do the things that we think will make us happy, and buying the things that we think will make us happy. We have learned to think about happiness as something we will achieve in the future, instead of something we can actually have right now.
The problem is that if we think that happiness is something we might have in the future, those future moments of happiness may never come.
How many of us say "I'll be happy when I lose twenty pounds" Or "I'll be happy when I get a new car" Or "When I have kids I'll be happy". Or "Winning the lottery will make me happy."
Sure, we may feel very happy if we accomplish these goals. But if you think achieving a particular goal or buying a particular car will make you feel happy forever, you'll quickly find out that any lift is very temporary.
If you've had a big improvement in your life, such as winning a lottery, marrying the person of your dreams, or having wonderful children, after a while you get used to the change in your life. For a few years the change may make you feel very happy, but in a couple of years you'll get used to your new situation, and you're left back where you started in terms of how happy you are.
Happiness is very elusive. Even when we have it we can't hold on to it.
And happiness isn't a goal you can actually set out to achieve. You can feel happy as a byproduct of other positive things you are doing in your life.
And you can be living your life in such a way that you are always driving away whatever chance of happiness you might have.
So, if you want to be happy, accept the fact that it's not a permanent thing.
And realize that happiness is not something that you should put off for the future. Don't tell yourself that you have to wait until you do something or have something before you allow yourself to be happy.
If you think you have to tie your happiness to some future accomplishment or some future purchase, you will find that any happiness you look forward to may not happen. Once you have the thing you thought you really wanted, you may find out that you feel disappointed instead of happy.
Or the happiness may wear off very quickly, and then you go off chasing something else that you think you need to make you happy.
Instead of postponing your right to happiness to some obscure time in the future, live in the here and now, and look for opportunities to be happy right now, where you are.
Instead of looking for happiness in external objects, learn to develop your capacity for being happy just by existing in this world.
There can be happiness in a lot of little moments you have every day.
Get in the habit of looking for those moments Remind yourself often how many gifts you have been given. Get in the habit of staying in a state of appreciation.
This article was written by Royane Real, author of many self help
articles, books and reports on a variety of topics. Get her free
newsletter filled with life improving ideas and tips. Real inspiration.
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